Motherhood and the fourth trimester
My name is Jess and I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Ivy on the 28th June 2021. She is 6 weeks old and boy oh boy has it been a rollercoaster of emotions and a learning curve! No one really prepares you for the physical and emotional changes in the fourth trimester, let alone having your whole identity change in the space of a 24 hour period. You go from being an individual, to having someone rely on you 24/7, a fiancé to a Mum, a daughter to a mother - it’s a lot to get your head around.
Let’s start with that first week and some lessons that I feel I learnt (full disclaimer - I know every baby is different, this is just what I experienced). Firstly, you have to go with your gut instinct when it comes to your baby. Ivy was dehydrated and had urates, which look like brick dust in her nappy. The midwives kept giving us different information, some said it was a mini period, some said she was dehydrated, some said they were just unsure. We made the decision to move from breast feeding to bottle feeding and that was the best decision for us. Ivy gulped down her first bottle, started having regular poos and seemed so much happier in herself. Not to mention the sense of relief I felt knowing she had enough to drink. Although I did feel like a failure for moving to bottle feeding, there is so much pressure that comes with this, but that’s a whole other blog post in itself. I know this is such a controversial topic, but as long as the baby is fed and happy, that’s all that matters!
The second lesson I learnt is to not book too many visitors in that first week. Not only will you be recovering, but there are also a million and one appointments from the midwives and health visitors that I never really thought about. Enjoy the first few days as a family, in whatever capacity that is, and soak up those first experiences and memories. I know it’s cliché, but the time really does go too quickly. I don’t know where those first 6 weeks have gone already!
The third lesson I learnt (if that’s the right word choice?) is how scary things can be. Why do baby nails grow so quickly when they are so frightening to cut?! I was really lucky to have my Mum come and stay with us for four days and it was very useful to see how she was with Ivy. I was scared to let her cry in the bath, but my Mum did one for us and let her cry it out. Since then we’ve got more confident with letting her cry, and now Ivy is much more settled in the bath (I wouldn’t go as far to say she likes them just yet!)
The final lesson I have learnt so far is to accept help in whatever form that is. I’m very grateful to have a strong support network around me, so I have had a lot of people offer to keep an eye on Ivy so I can do some jobs, have a nap, or even just eat a hot meal! Whilst I was pregnant I thought that I would want to do it all by myself and with my fiancé in the evenings, but the reality is, it takes a village to raise a child - so I’m taking all the help I can get!
I guess I wanted to start up a blog again to reflect on motherhood and to have a place to write down my thoughts and experiences. Not sure how often I will be able to write posts, but it’s great to have an outlet!
Jess x
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