My birth story

My pregnancy was textbook up until 35 weeks when I had my final scan. Ivy was measuring up very big so I was retested for gestational diabetes (after passing the first test), the results came back and I was told I had late onset gestational diabetes. This is when everything started to go a bit wrong! I was told that I would need to be induced to ensure the baby didn’t get bigger than she needed to. I received my letter telling me my date, 24th June 2021. Naively I thought that would be the day I would start having my baby, how wrong I was.

I waited all day for my phone call, only to be told to go in at 7pm on the 24th for my assessment. We arrived at hospital and I was assessed, I was already 3cm dilated at 38 weeks and my cervix was ready to go. They told me that they didn’t want to induce me now as they just needed to break my waters. All I had to do was stay in overnight and wait for a room to become available so they can break my waters. Fine, I can wait an extra night. Not a problem. One night turned into three nights. Women coming and going before me. Women coming in, being induced, and then given a room. By Sunday morning I was exhausted and frustrated. I could clearly see how understaffed and underfunded the NHS were. They had rooms but no midwives to run them. They couldn’t give me a timeframe of when I would be taken to the delivery suite. On Sunday, at 8am once Matt was here for visiting hours, they offered to transfer me to a hospital 50 minutes away as they had space on the delivery ward. Yes, I’ll take it. I was ready to meet Ivy.

At 1pm we arrived in Margate and I was reassessed. The team there said I was 3cm still but they were happy to induce me with a pessary. Whilst I was happy they could do something, this made me more angry at the previous hospital for not doing the same. At 2pm the pessary was inserted, at the same time I got a phone call to the hospital from my Mum. My Dad had been ill for a year and a half, but he had taken a bad turn. Mum was calling as she didn’t know if I would have the chance to speak to Dad again. After being induced I called him and said what I thought would be my last goodbyes. My heart was breaking.

It got to 8pm and I started to feel aching in my back. I was given paracetamol and was told to bounce on the birthing ball. This didn’t help. By 10pm I told them I was still uncomfortable, I wouldn’t say I was in pain just yet. They gave me some oral morphine which sent me to sleep until 2am. At this time a midwife came in to try and do their routine checks on Ivy. I was so uncomfortable now, I couldn’t stay still for the midwife to be able to monitor her. The doctor came in to reassess me, I was 6cm and they wanted to break my waters. The pessary had done its job in 12 hours. 

‘Let’s get this show on the road’, I thought. They switched my bed to a labour bed and told me to find a comfortable position, I only used gas and air through active labour and the whole thing lasted 2 hours and 31 minutes. Very quick for a first time labour. The reason for this is that I was over contracting, I wasn’t getting a break between them. Ivy ended up getting into distress so they had to intervene with forceps. I lost 900ml of blood during this whole process, which meant that I didn’t remember most of what happened. The theatre team were on standby for a c-section if I couldn’t push (or pull) her out within 20 minutes. 3 pushes, 8 minutes and an episiotomy later and Ivy was born. 4:31am on the 28th June 2021. 

At first Ivy didn’t cry as she was in distress. They had to suck the mucus out of her and rub her for her to show us she was okay. As she was handed to me she pooed all over me and I was sick in her face because of the gas and air - what a welcome into the world! At this point they realised it would be best to give her to Matt, so he whipped off his top for some skin to skin. I was so out of it at this point that I don’t remember seeing him hold her for the first time, cut the cord or anything. I’m gutted about that. Whilst he was holding her they started to stitch me up, oh the glamour. At this point I still hadn’t heard anything from my Mum about Dad. So once I was stitched up and sorted we FaceTimed them. Thankfully Dad had had a second wind and was somewhat with it. He managed to see his first granddaughter and tell me how much he loved her and me. 

We had to stay for another night in the hospital due to the amount of blood that I had lost. This resulted in me developing anaemia. Lose the diabetes and gain another illness, right? This resulted in me passing out the first time I tried to get up for a shower. They desperately wanted to get fluids in me but my body wouldn’t let them fit the canuelas. 8 people tried. I was black and blue from bruises all over my arms. I felt like a pin cushion. Eventually they gave up and told me to take the antibiotic route, alongside the injections I had to have for blood clots and my iron tablets. 

Throughout that night my Mum told me that my Dad had taken a turn for the worst again. I really wanted to be discharged so I could take Ivy to go and see Dad, no matter how much pain I was in. We weren’t discharged until 4pm, but devastatingly my Dad passed away at just after 3pm. The day after Ivy was born. I take some comfort thinking that Dad waited until he met Ivy (albeit virtually) and until it wasn’t her birthday anymore. My Dad wanted nothing more than to become a grandad and it breaks my heart that he never got to hold her and experience that.

The road of grief whilst also battling with a new found parenthood has been a tremendous struggle. I found myself feeling guilty for being happy, as I should be grieving. However, I know that my Dad wouldn’t have wanted that, he would want me to enjoy every second with Ivy. I feel as if they crossed paths somehow, and Ivy always has a guardian angel looking over her, no matter what.

Jess x